


If You're Happy and You Know It

by pinkevilbob



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Autistic Caleb Widogast, Gen, Neurodiversity, Stimming, neurodivergent Jester Lavorre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 00:50:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17714912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: The first time he noticed himself doing it in front of the Mighty Nein was in a book shop. No, not noticed himself, he never noticed that he was doing it, more like he noticed others noticing. In this case, Jester.





	If You're Happy and You Know It

The first time he noticed himself doing it in front of the Mighty Nein was in a book shop. No, not noticed himself, he never noticed that he was doing it, more like he noticed others noticing. In this case, Jester. Caleb had managed to find a rare spell scrawled in the back of a treatise on the role peanuts in the Age of Arcanum. It was the best find he had made in ages and he could just barely contain his excitement. Or least he thought he did contain it until he saw how Jester was staring at his hands. He didn't even need to look down to know that he was waving them about like a silly child. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he nearly left the book shop without taking the spell (he stopped himself before doing something that foolish).

The second time was even worse. Beau had let Caleb know that she was going to spend the day at the Cobalt Soul and offered to let Caleb tag along. The thought of spending the entire day in the library was too perfect to refuse. But then he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. Jester was smiling at him and waving her hands about. He looked down to see that she was waving them in time with his own. Caleb hastily grabbed Beau and attempted to drag her to her monastery.

Caleb knew that he would from time to time shake his hands about. That his hands would get too excited and move on their own. Or they would get too bored and pick at whatever was close by. Or just too something and scratch his palms even if they didn't itch. His mother would just tut at him if she noticed and make him feel guilty, and his father would give his hands something productive to do. He had hoped that none of his new companions would notice, but he had no such luck. After that, he kept his hands in his pockets as much as he could. Fortunately, there were no incidents after that, but he could feel Jester watching him.

The next time they went to the Invulnerable Vagrant, there was a ring that would allow Caleb to do an extra third level spell each day. He stared at that ring the whole time the others haggled and, in Caduceus' case, flirted with the Pumats. It would have been so useful, both for himself and the group, but it was far more than he could afford. Jester leaned over next to him and pointed at it. "Oh and I'm getting that ring too."

He shouldn't have been surprised that she would want the ring too. It was a good item for a cleric, and it would be just as useful in, or rather on, her hands as his. Caleb buried down his disappointment as deep as he could and nearly ran into Jester on their way out of the shop.

"Caleb," she said with that infectious grin on her face, "this is for you." Jester held the ring out to him.

Caleb stared at the ring. "For me?"

"Yeah. I could tell that you super wanted it and I had the money, so here." She shoved the ring in his face.

He grabbed the ring if only to give himself more space. It was fine looking enough he supposed, he didn't really care what it looked like as long as it was magical. Caleb stared at it not believing Jester's kindness.

"Go on, put it on," Jester prompted.

The ring fit securely around his right pointer finger. It was almost too much. Caleb could feel his hands wanting to shake, so he shoved them into his pocket.

"Caleb," Jester said sounding somehow disappointed, "aren't you happy?"

"Ja, I am very happy. This is too kind of a gift."

"Then why aren't you acting happy?"

Caleb stiffened. "What do you mean?"

“You know.” She waved her hands out in front of her. “It’s been awhile since you’ve been happy like that.”

“If you only wanted to make fun of me, you can take this back.” He took the ring off and shoved it into Jester’s hands.

Jester’s face fell. “I wasn’t making fun of you. I just wanted to see that you were happy.”

“So you can mimic and mock me.” Caleb liked Jester and had thought that she was one of the few that wouldn’t care. But obviously he was wrong.

“It’s not like that at all,” Jester said. “I just thought that it was like my hops.”

“Your hops?”

Jester nodded. “Yeah. Like when something’s super exciting and it’s more than I can take I just gotta hop, you know? And, if the Traveler’s around, then he hops too since he’s excited that I’m excited. I was just happy that you were happy. But, I won’t do it again if you’re not comfortable with it.”

Caleb looked down at his feet full of guilt. Here Jester was just trying to be nice in her odd way, and he snapped at her. “I’m not comfortable with it. I don’t like it when people notice how weird I am.”

“You’re not weird, you’re just Caleb,” Jester said simply. “You want know what’s really weird? Blude eats peanut butter with mayonnaise.” Caleb stuck out his tongue at the thought of it. “Super gross, right?”

“Right,” Caleb said with a hint of a smile. “And thanks.”

Jester beamed back at him. “You’re welcome.”

 

* * *

 

A few weeks later they found themselves back in the tunnels to Xhorhas. Apparently, the kobolds were stirring up trouble in Felderwind and needed to be taken care of. As they went through, they stopped in the temple Jester had set up for the Traveler. “Hey, check it out,” Beau said pointing to the altar.

In front of the altar was an offering of some fruit, three beads, and half a rat. “The Traveler has worshippers down here!” Jester squealed. Her hard work was starting to pay off. It was more than she keep in and she started to jump up and down.

The others didn’t seem bothered by it, but out of the corner of Jester’s eye she notice Caleb watching her. When she turned towards him, he did a single hop and then nodded at her. She smiled at him and then went back to excitedly talking about what the offerings meant.

**Author's Note:**

> So, on the Widojest Discord I'm part of, we were discussing neurodivergent headcanons and I remembered that I had started this fic months ago but didn't have the nerve to finish it since this is super self indulgent. I decided to take the plunge and finish this and post it.
> 
> Jester's hopping is based on something that I sometimes do, but I've never really met anybody else who does it. It felt suitable for Jester though.


End file.
